he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
vagina is talking i cant
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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