i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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