I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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