we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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