You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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