ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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