hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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