I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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