She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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