'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
