I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
