Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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