he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
