Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
