Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
