dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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