I can text with my tongue
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
