WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Randomize
