Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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