Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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