Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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