just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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