She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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