i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
