The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
