Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
