so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
