This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
