I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Randomize