she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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