My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
