new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
