you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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