I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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