I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
