My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You don't make any sense
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