Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
