I just saw a hot homeless man
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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