so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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