I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I met the friendliest cop last night
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Randomize
