we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
