i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
soo... how was my night?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
