Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
