I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
