I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
