I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
