I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
