WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
