and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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