I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
