I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
