Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
