You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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