at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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