A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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