Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Randomize
