Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Randomize
