I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
