Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Life is so much better after having sex.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
