oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It's official drugs can't kill me
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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