I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
