So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
