i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
