fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Randomize
