Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
