I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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