I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
