sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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