someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
